How to Date Outside of Social Media

It’s 2021, you swipe right for the thirtieth time this month, not even looking at your screen anymore. You don’t bother to write ‘hello’ or come up with some new way of getting someone’s attention because in the end, it’s all the same; conversations that are left on read or that simply last a few hours but ultimately lead nowhere. 21st-century dating is automated. It has turned into a frequency of thumbs sliding across screens and creating profiles where you have to sell yourself better than a reduced-price item at Lidl’s.

If you’re tired of the prospect of being just another slideshow on someone’s phone, or you just simply don’t feel that a few pictures and a short biography do you justice, maybe it’s time to date outside of social media.


It’s awkward when someone adds you on Facebook and you sit there hovering between the decline and accept buttons, wondering why someone vaguely related to your friend has sent a request. An alternative to this can be asking  a friend if they can set you up with someone. Yes, it might feel like a strange request at first, but at least you’re asking someone you know and they might be able to set you up with a person they think will match you. Another way to date is to have a bigger circle of friends get together for a meet-up, ask everyone to bring a single plus one, and have yourselves a good time bowling, eating, or maybe even going for long walks that will give you plenty of time to get to know each other and exchange numbers after. 


Join a society and meet someone you share an interest with. Having shared interests with someone you date shouldn’t be a decider, but it helps when you’re queuing outside the cinema or when you’re on a lunch date, as you’ll have a conversation starter and your person of interest will get to see a more relaxed and non-romantic side of you, as you can first become friends with them through the society, rather than establishing a romantic interest from the beginning. 


Bars are better than clubs – at least when it comes to dating. If you’re looking for quick relations then yes, a club is the obvious place to go, however, if you’re looking for something that might last a while, going to a bar would set you up better as music doesn’t tend to play as loud, and there’s food too. So, grab a friend and search the area for people who look like they are also with their friends, and maybe offer to buy them a drink of what they’re already drinking, or perhaps a drink you know is incredibly good, which might spark a conversation if they decide to interact. And don’t worry, if they simply nod and say thanks for the drink, just smile and nod, because it’s not a fail, just practice. Remember, don’t spend all your money on one drink, keep it economical and buy them something that won’t sting your wallet.


A fun way to find yourself a date would be through any activities or hobbies you enjoy, such as running groups in your local area, gaming, or football. You can have fun doing activities you like, and maybe even get a date out of it. This way you’ll be able to chat or find someone you like in person. Book clubs are also good spaces, as reading and discussing books can lead to further conversations, friendships, and maybe even meetups. If you frequent places such as libraries and the theatre, striking up a friendly chat about the book someone is holding or looking at can get the conversation flowing and, although you need to be a bit brave, it’s nothing to worry about as it’s only a discussion starter after all. So put down the app, and maybe try something new instead of having to summarize yourself in five lines and photos.



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