by Emily Maybanks
Friendships are often the most valuable relationships we will experience throughout our lives, especially at University where we’re all thrown together during Freshers’ fortnight and almost forced to bond. I’ve been lucky enough to have made some of the strongest friendships at Swansea University; I’ve always been someone who has kept themselves to themselves throughout pretty much all of my pre-University life. However, this isn’t the point of this article. Recently, I’ve experienced the heartbreak of what I believed was strong, genuine friendship falling apart.
It’s normal to lose friends over the years. Not everyone we’re friends with is supposed to be our friend forever. People are brought into our lives for two reasons; either to stay there permanently or to teach us a lesson. Friendships fall apart for many reasons – they totally suck and have a real emotional toll on us too.
Apart from simply falling out another reason why friendships fall apart is quite simply drifting apart. You were close friends with someone, but as time passes, you both get busy, make new friends and have both gone your own way. Similarly, you realise that you don’t have that same bond that you used to have. Friendships can also become quite negative – this is something that I have found recently – while it is really hard when friends no longer seem to support you or your dreams, the best thing to do is cut yourself off from that negativity. You need friends who lift you up and encourage you. Furthermore, a strong, real friendship relies on being vulnerable with one another. So it is natural to drift away from a friend if you feel as though you should hold things back and not be honest or open about things.
There are things that you can do to salvage a friendship that is important to you. I am a huge fan of sending cute cards and handwritten letters, however, a nice text message or even a phone or Skype call can work just as well, particularly if the friendship is a long-distance one. If you truly want to make a friendship last, you need to invest in it. Talking about how you’re feeling if you feel as though the friendship is falling apart is a good idea. By talking, I mean talking and not messaging. Sending messages often mean that things get misinterpreted and blown out of proportion. Open and honest communication is the key here.
It is really difficult and very upsetting when friendships drift apart, but focussing on those friends who genuinely adore you is a good idea.
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell