Agony Aunts

Heather and Emily are Waterfront’s very own Agony Aunts and matchmakers.

If you’re interested in going on a Blind Date, have a Campus Crush or a question for the Aunts, contact them at: waterfrontrelationships@swanseastudentmedia.com

Hi Heather and Emily,
I’m stressing about my relationship after university. My partner and I currently live together but will both be moving home (me to Birmingham and them to North Wales) this summer and I don’t know how this will impact our relationship. Any advice?

Well, first of all try not to worry about the future too much right now and enjoy your current time together. Yes, moving home will change the dynamic of your relationship as you’ll have to make more of an effort to communicate and see each other. Finding jobs and being able to afford to travel to each other will have to be planned out but it’s certainly not impossible! Like any relationship after uni it really comes down to making the effort with the people you love the most, whether that be romantic or platonic, and shouldn’t be viewed as a hardship but an exciting prospect to reconnect as often as you can. When you first start at university a lot of people say that long distance relationships don’t work but you aren’t naïve 18 year olds. You’ve lived together happily, which can be a real test of a relationship, so your relationship sounds pretty solid and you’ll have matured together, this next step is far from impossible! Planning out how and when you’ll be able to see each other over the summer or in early autumn might help to ease your mind about this new dimension of your relationship so talk to your partner. For now, keep enjoying the time you have together and good luck for the future, you can make it work!

Dear Heather and Emily,
A few weeks ago, I arranged to go on a date with a guy I met in JCs before heading to Tooters. I arrived at the agreed restaurant, and waited, and waited, and waited, but the guy never showed. In short: he stood me up. It’s really knocked my confidence and I don’t know if I’ll be brave enough to set up a date again any time soon. How do I restore my confidence?

I’m so sorry this happened to you, this guy sounds like a jerk! If he didn’t let you know there was a good reason that he couldn’t make it, he clearly wasn’t worth your time. It’s hard but this one set back shouldn’t stop you from dipping your toes in the dating pool. Nights out can always be a bit of a risky start to a relationship, this guy might have simply been looking for a good time rather than dating and a relationship? Why not chat online/on an app with people for a bit? Set up a double date? Ask around if any of your friends have someone they think you’d hit it off with, as hopefully with your friends they will be nice and actually show! These might feel like ‘safer’ ways to explore your options rather than going alone. Alternatively, there’s nothing wrong with taking a break from the dating world and becoming comfortable with yourself again and restoring faith in yourself rather than attaching your worth to some guy you don’t know yet. Whatever you decide, that guy shouldn’t have ditched you, especially without warning you if he couldn’t make it. Take some time to build yourself up and be around people who think you’re great before entering into the murky world of dating. One day you will find the person right for you but you should never lose confidence in yourself because of someone else.

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