Agony Aunt – February 2019

Should I be dating if I don’t have my life together?

First off, what student has their life together?! I always think it is good to have time to yourself if you feel that’s what you need, but you don’t want to miss out on a relationship with someone who you could really work with. Just take things easy. If a date arises that’s great, maybe just don’t go searching until you feel ready.

How do you know if you are completely incapable of love?

I don’t think anyone is incapable of love. Love doesn’t just mean romance, it’s the love of our friends and family too. If you are capable of that then romantic love will follow when the time is right. However, if you feel that way then I think it’s important that you discuss this further with a professional. The Student’s Union Advice & Support centre offers counselling and can be contacted at

I’m currently seeing someone who hasn’t come out to their family and most of their friends yet. As someone who has been out for years and who has had less than stellar experiences with closeted dating in the past, how do I approach this with an open mind?

All I can suggest is to try and be as understanding as you can and try and help them through it by using your own experiences. If this person means a lot to you then you just need to keep being supportive without putting any pressure on them to come out. However, if your feelings aren’t that strong and you really don’t feel comfortable, then you are well within your rights to walk away. Your happiness is also important.

I am still not over an old ex. I’ve had another relationship since then, but she is still in my head. What should I do?

The best thing to do is block them all on social media; just having them pop up on your feed every now and then will be enough to keep them in your mind. If you know this person is bad for you, don’t pursue any feelings you may still hold for them. Time is the best healer and eventually, you will find someone who is so right for you that you won’t think about your ex at all.

by Katie Brewster


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